well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize