$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
