bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just invented taco cereal.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
