I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my sisters under your porch take her home
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
