Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize