At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Shame is for Republicans.
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