i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
