Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
