i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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