I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
