ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
