I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
