I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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