Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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