How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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