We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize