a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize