You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
