Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
