so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
