mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
