marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
