don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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