Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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