You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You made out with two different species that night
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
