I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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