he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
