I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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