Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
