she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
