I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
