and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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