no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
