You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
