She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize