you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
