Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
