We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize