Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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