WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i need to put some appletini on your dick
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
