Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
