Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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