Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
