I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
