dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
