You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
