he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
