don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I currently don't understand fingers.
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