Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
