How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
