Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
