i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
