i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
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