you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
