It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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