I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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