i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
