the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
