"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
