I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
oh god the rape fog is back!
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You made out with two different species that night
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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